My Bank Chase

My local bank is Chase. A lot of good, dedicated people work there. They are currently doing a promotion featuring pictures of grass growing, as in growing your money. I wrote this after realizing I was being too casual when I went there.
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When you are walking around near the office cubicles "Can I help you?" really means "What are you doing back here, you schmuck?"When you come to a bank, it's serious. It's about money. Not like a math department. Who wants to see pictures of grass growing? This is West Bloomfield! We hire illegal aliens to water our lawns. Get rid of all that warm and fuzzy crap and put up pictures of JP Morgan, Salmon Chase, and other capitalist fat cats. And you should install an electronic fence in front of the cubicles, so that any bozo who walks through there without an appointment gets zapped.I have to find another place to hang out. The library? A soup kitchen? Fidelity Investments? Stay tuned.

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